Debit or Credit?

Let me first apologise.
If your looking for something encouraging, you may want to find another blog to read.
However, I feel that this is something that has been on my heart and that God is really tyring to teach me. Therefore I will share. I know I will not say this well, for I am not so great with words, but I do hope it will be of somewhat benefit to you.
Lately God has been showing me more and more of Him. This is so wonderful, but with it, I see more and more of how utterly disgusting I am. One of the most reveling things I have seen in me is my relationship with other people. My lack of dependence on my great Lord shows so much in this area. I continue to so selfcenteredly act like I am selling my self to other people. I want them to only see me in a certain way or not to think badly of me. When will I stop wanting to be heard, wanting to be understood and wanting to be cared for? As if I was worth anything, and as if what my Lord has done wasn't enough.... The more I see of how much He cares and loves me, the more I see how I act as if this is not enough... Which only shows how much more He loves me.